Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
