wanna go halves on a baby?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
