This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
