Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
