you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
