she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
