I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
