i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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