I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
