he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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