I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
