Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
