I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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