And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
