No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
