They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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