she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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