i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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