we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
