I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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