If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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