make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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