Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize