It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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