I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
