I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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