I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize