Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize