I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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