This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
