i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
