I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
