dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
