all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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