Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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