chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
