The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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