can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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