I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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