Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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