I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
