She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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