I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
COCAINE IS GR8
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
