Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
