and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
BRING THE BAGELS
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
