ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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