We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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