I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
