Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
