Barsexuality is the new black.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
